Mysteries (and Gifts) of Life

Finally, the moment that I have been waiting for came upon us. A dear friend of mine, a notorious affirmation-whore (banci kepastian), finally was able to take control of her own life. She was also known as the forever-lost puppy. Seemed to be lacking of self-confidence, she would need guidance in many steps along her ways. And the most irritating part was that she wanted to know exactly what is going on in her future. Will she ever marry the man of his dream? That is if he would ever return to her arms again in the first place.

And Mommy dearest, she seemed to have this utter concern that my brother would not ever be happy with his soon-to-be-wife of a girlfriend. While from my point of view, her worries were the ones that caused all of the dramas in the family. My brother is a happy-go-lucky guy. He seemed to posses the power to be happy so easily. He didn’t worry too much, all he needs to do is face the day with his head up high, enjoying the good and taking care of any obstacle in front of him. And furthermore, I like this girl and I trust that they’re gonna be just fine. Then I wonder why do people worry so much about uncertainties of life. Sometimes even forgetting that today is a beautiful day, one that shall be enjoyed together immensely.

I do have my own future problems to ponder around, business expansions that were good on paper, yet seemed to be slow in reality. Another looming on-going project that needed to be financed as soon as possible, yet we were still unable to get paid on past successful projects. But I choose not to worry so much, because I just knew that somehow help is on its way. I just need to pay a closer attention to the conditions and the supportive people around me.

At least I got one foot at the door, as my dear friend seemed to be able to take certain controls of her wariness. She started performing personal restrains, from fasting, reducing her smoke habits, even controlling her emotions, churning out more gratitude and less on the complaining side. Better, she stopped being angry all the time. I said to her, “Now since you were already able to curb your desires to eat, to smoke, and able to manage your anger, you might just add one more thing on your list that you need to control: The desire to ask what’s gonna happen in the future or your near future… ”.

While basically some tips from the future might boost up confidence in us humanis, I do still enjoy the mysteries of life. I prefer to be kept in the dark sometimes, so the end-result would be as sweet as the journeys that I am taking on my day-to-day basis. Furthermore, somehow I felt that it was just simply wrong to predict, as human being, this didn’t seem to be our privilege to know our future, never was and never will.

Part 2.

And with this freedom to choose my own paths, I recently was introduced to a very peculiar being. Well, actually friendster introduced us (yes, friendster is still alive you people!), while yahoo messenger beautifully handled the second step.

Something cute was written in his “about me” profile: About a happy human being. Ah, finally, someone who thinks that he is happy. A very rare breed that you don’t see around us lately. I found him as insane as myself (in a happy crazy insane way of korz). Someone who wanted to keep his big secret, that the Last Emperor of China is still alive (i.e himself). Eventhough, I had this impression that Pu Yi died in the arms of his second wife, Li Xin, a commoner, sometime in 1967. Well, if he was still alive, at least it would explain how he was so knowledgeable of the 70-s era. Things that I wouldn’t be exposed to as I was just a mere toddler.

“But you seemed to know a lot as well?” he defended himself.

“Cuz I too, was born in 1540 in Turkey, at the time when my father helped arrange the peace treaty between Venice and Turkey in the Constantinople Truce”

Ok that was fun, so what’s the big mystery you might ask?

While sometimes he slipped by referring to a scene from Arisan (a hit gay themed Indonesian movie), or inserting some gay slang (pepsi v. : gay slang for asking for a pee break; or I swam telenji mode in a Lombok beach, telenji adj. : derived from the word telanjang, nude), the point was, I still don’t even know about his orientation.

The way we were introduced was kinda online-ly gay. Do unknown straight people ask for your friendster friendlist and later in return receive a request for a ym session? Funny tho, during the conversations there was nothing gay about this person. He didn’t ask about my orientation, and I was too princess-ey to be the one who’d open the might-be-sensitive discussion.

I’ll just let it flow lah. It would be mighty interesting if he is. But then again if he is not, I wouldn’t mind getting a crazy, history-travel-movie-and-music buff, of a new friend.

Additional comment: If life is a gift from the gods, then I think it will be so exciting just to guess what's the next wonderfully mysterious gift that we will receive in the future.





Welcome to my world,





Prof. Utonium

Copyright: Opening Image. Corbis © 2008

Half Full or Half Empty?

On the subject of fulfillments, somebody kinda gave me the words of the week. He said something in the line of: “Lower your worldly desire today, live a humbler-simpler life in the purpose of serving others. Just do what’s best that you can afford to do today. But never forget to focus your energy on your dreams, give your dream a new breath of life. You’ll live a passionate life.”

“There you go”, I said to my parents. Giving them a pile of clothing items, from t-shirts, pants, jackets, shirts, shoes, even baseball caps that I no longer wish to employ. I felt like Santa Claus in the middle of October trying to cheer people up. The opportunity to live a more passionate life, came as some of their friends asked their assistance to organize some clothing drive for the needy, a newly-displaced group of people somewhere in Tanjung Priok area.

Furthermore, I started to eat more at home, spending less on fancy lunches or dinners. Just like trying to quit smoking, curbing my today’s desires, had left me numb. I felt like I am somewhat content, but somehow felt like I am living in someone else’s physical being. Still not sure if this would be good or not, I have lost some essences of being my regular self.

This morning as I opened up my closet, I only saw about half of my belongings. One part of me felt happy. I felt half-full, that I have enough to sustain my life. That today I would need less stuffs to care about. Yet still another part of me saw an opportunity. The opportunity to replenish my now-half-empty wardrobe with new and exciting items.




Not giving up on that electric blue sneakers just yet!





Prof. Utonium

Copyright: Opening Image. Corbis © 2008

Jealous (in Indonesian)

Udah dibilangin jadi orang jangan suka iri dengan apa yang dimiliki orang lain. Yang ada bukankah pikiran kita hanya akan terkotori oleh ide-ide negatif yang selain tidak berguna, malah juga destruktif kedepannya? Dari kecil-pun kita sudah diajarkan bahwa kita kudu bersyukur atas pemberian Tuhan, mau banyak, mau sedikit, semuanya ada untuk dinikmati kita juga. Dibawa asik aja, kata ayah saya.

Tetapi kemarin kenapa ada terbersit sedikit rasa iri ya? Bukan iri karena seseorang memiliki sesuatu, karena dia sendiri juga belum memiliki hal itu. Rasa iri yang aneh, saya iri akan sebuah kesempatan.

Jadi ceritanya ada kawan yang merayakan ultah beberapa waktu yang lalu. Undangan acara itu terkesan sedikit gokil apa adanya seperti teman saya yang mengundang: "Sodara sodari, dateng ga perlu dijemput, pulang ga perlu dianter, langsung aja dateng ke rumah gue, pada hari (beep) dan jam (beep), utk pesta kecil2an gue. Ga usah bawa kado, bawa aja pacar/ suami/ istri kalo bisa sempet waktunya. No kids this time yak!".

Au contraire dengan undangan tadi, datanglah saya sembari menggenggam kado yang sudah dibungkus rapih oleh mbak saya di rumah.

"Happy birthday!" saya salami kawan saya.

"Thanks yah, where's your date?"

"Maksudlu pdkt gue itu? Biasalah dia, ada tugas di luar kota. Maklum perusahaan nasional, tiap bulan pasti ada tugas ngider..."

Kemudian saya didudukkan di sebelah kawan lama saya yang obviously sedang membawa seseorang di sebelahnya.

"Weitz, pa kabar lu? Akhirnya, gue bisa liat lu ga eternally jomblo bro!"

"Daripada elu gonta ganti mulu, dasar playboy!" balasnya, sembari kemudian memperkenalkan saya kepada pdkt-nya.

"Ashanti"

"Beneran? Kayak penyanyi itu namanya?"

"Perlu liat KTP gue?" balas wanita itu sembari bercanda.

Acara syukuran yang sederhana tetapi membekas. Kawan saya yang kebetulan hobby memasak dengan sakses berhasil menggelontorkan menu-menu yang terlihat asing tetapi sangat mantap menyentuh lidah Indonesia saya.

Waktu bergulir dengan cepat. Percakapan saya, kawan lama saya dan miss pdkt-nya berlangsung dengan hangat. Si manis yang ramah dan supel, yang dimana dari sanalah rasa iri itu mulai terbentuk. Di sana saya menilik sekilas pembawaannya yang anggun, pembicaraannya yang terkesan smart tanpa harus menggurui, dan jiwa pelayanan alaminya yang muncul ketika waktu beres-beres tiba, membantu sang empunya rumah, yang mana kebetulan pula baru saja ia kenal.

Gong terakhir tiba ketika acara dilanjutkan ke ruang tengah untuk berkaraoke seadanya. Di sana ia membuatku terpana dengan suaranya yang lembut dan mengambang, tanpa ada tekanan yang berarti, semuanya mengalun seiring harmoni yang sedang berlaku.

"Somewhere... over the rainbow... way up there..."

Kenapa saya harus iri dengan kawan saya ya? Dengan kesempatannya untuk dapat berdekat-dekatan dengan Ashanti.

Padahal somewhere over the rainbow juga sudah ada seseorang yang menakjubkan yang sudah berhasil membuat saya blingsatan head over heels belakangan ini, yang besok juga sudah kembali ke kota ini, ke dalam pelukan saya lagi.

Saya hanya berdoa, Ya Tuhan, semoga tidak semua laki-laki "ga pernah puas" seperti saya ini.






Aku (sepertinya) bukan lelaki buaya darat,

Prof. Utonium

Copyright: Opening Image. Corbis © 2008

The Old Man and the Sea

Just as many had predicted, some type of collapse seemed to be inevitable for the Indonesian economy after the American giant seemed to slump further these past few weeks. Never happened in my observation that the IDX (Indonesian Stock Exchange) was stopped for a day, not just once, but for two consecutive days, only be halted again half-way on the third day, Friday, until further notice.

Not only for the investors or traders who lost their shiploads during these hard times, it was also a pretty disconcerting vista for the people who work around the perimeter of the stock exchange building, such as myself. Customers that should be returning from their Eid Holiday by Wednesday were just not there. On the same day, we saw a huge drop, even from the (already) low Tuesday, continuing on Thursday and Friday.

People had warned me to sell, while I was still holding. The value of my portfolio had plunged about 50% in comparison to the glorious December 2007 rate. In any case, I didn’t want to embark on this communal panic, since I am still blessed with other sources of income. Still, people kept on calling in desperate “it is getting worse day by day” - “buy some land” - “ buy more gold” tones. All happened while the USD rate was hiking and breaking the Rp. 10,000,- level.

I then decided to just simply go to a nearby gym to calm my nerves. Unlike the regular pre-holiday season Friday, the venue was shockingly almost empty. Upon further investigations, personal trainers in the gym would tell me recent horror stories in conjunction with the fall of the local stock market.

“You see, from the 10 clients that I should be training, only 2 showed up. The rest canceled due to the stock market fiasco”

“One of my clients lost everything. From four luxury abodes, now he is forced to rent. From five enviable automobiles, he suddenly needed to auction everything asap. He is in so much debt right now”

So I called a buddy of mine who was a very active personal investor. He said: “You know, I think God had called upon us once again. The greedy will fold. The contented will survive”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked

“Let’s go fishing tomorrow”

“What?”

-0-

At the least, the weather was cooperative that Saturday. The sun was bright. The clear blue sky welcomed us. It was past noon when we finally reached the fishing dock. Only a handful of people were there. We chose to share a bamboo type of hut with an elderly man who was accompanied by his teenage grandson. They were there earlier, observing their lures, waiting patiently. Soon enough, I was having a totally “blond moment” watching my buddy preped his fishing rods, put on the baits while throwing the lines at the murky waters below us.

“I wished the government had given us some type of protection like they did in Thailand and Malaysia. There were certain amount of time-bond, sometimes it could run for years, before foreign investors at the stock market could sell everything and just leave the country”

“Really?” I asked as in amazement, since I knew almost nothing about the subject that he was discussing.

“Did you know why they had to stop trading for the last couple of days?”

“Because it fell so sharp?”

“Not only that, because these foreigners had gained some quick profits to help cover their losses back home, and they were more than ready to fly. That would definitely hurt us worse faster”

He would continue his monologue (or lessons as I perceived it) for another thirty minutes about the good and the bad, the mistakes and the greed that people were becoming blinded by.

“As the old adage said, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. This way you shall have other means of support when bad things started to roll. I am still grateful that I still have my day job, and I didn’t invest all my savings in the stock market. It was as if I have an inner voice that guided me to know when enough is enough”

“Yeah, try to tell that to the people who are plainly broke right now because of the blow”

“Well, the wise one would take this as a learning vehicle, while some other might snap and become literally insane”

Suddenly the elderly man who was sitting at the next table waved at us.

“Excuse me Sirs. Would you like to share lunch with us? But these are the only things that we can offer you guys…” he said while showing a rolled up rice cake with salted fish inside.

“My grandson will prepare some tea if you will.”

I was touched by his sincerity.

“Come on don’t be shy, I made this myself this morning. People said it’s very delicious!” he insisted.

With some hesitation we then accepted his offer. The rolled rice was indeed sumptuous. He wasn’t bragging himself earlier.

“So how many fish did you catch today Sir?” my buddy asked to open up a conversation.

“Just these two” he said showing the meagerly sized local fish, about the dimension of a woman’s palm.

“Maybe it wasn’t the season Sir?” I asked.

“I dunno, sometimes I may catch a lot. I could throw the lures and I might pick ‘em right up in a second. Sometimes it’s like today, almost nothing. Hey, but it’s good enough lah. I can cook some kick ass fried chilly with these ones. Maybe tomorrow we’ll catch more.”

We talked about everyday things in some very warm manners with the two of them. After a while, the grandson pulled out a very humble dessert.

“Oh this is soo good!” I yelled for his sweetened steamed banana dessert.

Then they would rest for a while, exchanging guard from time to time. Then my friend said, “You see, this is one of those life enlightenment processes going on for us. Even seemingly lacking of worldly things that he could amass, he would still offer us what little did he have in his hands.”

By dusk the family duo then excused themselves.

“Did ya catch anymore Sir?” I asked before they’d parted.

“Nope” he said laughing, showing his decaying teeth.

“Just like the sea Sir, you never see the oceans complained. They just took in whatever bad things we might throw at them. I might as well just follow the sea. I don’t want to complain about what the sea would just offer me today in return”

Somebody smacked me about the way I run my life.
Yet still, I didn’t even care enough to ask for his name.




Bowing for The Old Man,





Prof. Utonium

Disturbing Nature

Unlike what some people might have thought of me, I really let go when I felt the need to let go. Especially in the case of disharmonious bowel movements.

While it would be true that sometimes one shall hold for a longer period when faced with a reality of an ugly public toilet situation, but in most of the cases, I would happily obliged to nature calls after some quick scanning on the available amenities.

Roll of papers would be the ultimate salvation. In the Asian-way case, a hand-held jet washer would be nice. Then it would be best if they have installed an under the seat bidet system. And on top of that, I was heavenly blessed of having to sit on a heated seat in the middle of a chilly autumn, with heated multi-option jet washer system, complete with a music button to mask any unruly sound that one might produce while doing his personal business, somewhere in Japan.

So earlier today, I felt the sudden need to do my personal business. Then equipped with a familiar knowledge of the mall's layout, I deliberately chose the most-likely-to-be-unattend

ed men's room in a hope to have a private blissful moment.

Extremely clean and luxuriously laid out, it had both paper and under-the-seat washer options. I secretly thanked the Lord for this.

And then just before the first %^&* was about to blast, from all the other empty and available spaces, someone chose to sit next to me.

I felt like a bad karma was surfacing, eager to be paid.

Then a very loud monophonic jingle came out from his cell. Then without any reservation, he picked up the phone. Then he would answer it in a similarly loud manner. And then he chatted as if he was sitting down somewhere more appropriate, discussing about bank loans and its prerequisites.

"Oh yea I know that Mr. Iskandar that you were talking about..."

"No, he is Muslim, you wouldn't know him from your church..."

"Hmm, maybe this wasn't the same Mr. Iskandar that I was referring about..."

"This one is very powerful, I knew him very well..."

The disturbance changed my mood. No longer having the seclusion that I was expecting, suddenly my bodily functions just halted everything that nature intended for that specific occasion. Damn the guy next door who stole my moment.

Even while I was wondering how could this person do this to the other person that he was talking to, alas, he didn't seem to find any problem of letting go of his "issues" anytime, anywhere.

You got the perfect blaring 3D wall-echo sounds and holly #$%&, the perfect odor as well. It was so real, not unlike walking into an IMAX 3D theater. Wait it was actually real, I was there damn it. Still I thank God that I didn't have to witness any visual-effect.

Out of annoyance and respect for the person he was talking to, I just quit. Disgruntled.

More sounds from his business. Flush. Stream. Re-flush.

"You know we should meet later on for a coffee..." he said to the other end of his phone.




Let's hope at least he would have the decency to wash his hands first,

Prof. Utonium

Copyright: Opening Image. Corbis © 2008

Jung Test

This is what "Jung" online had so say about my "personality". Somehow I know that something like this would be the result of my personality test. Not only that it is very similar, but this is what i am good at real life as a "seller" and absolutely "outstanding" fabulous host. Heheh...

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.

Free Jung Word Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Not Too Wild This Time

"No one ever said: the Great Indoors” was found at a spread of Hummer H3 ad. Flipping through some more pages of Bestlife (May 2008), you will find: “There’s only one way to find out if your vaccinations really work” from Range Rover. Both of them showed their mighty trucks being harassed by the wilderness. One was parked in a sunny ditch at the foot of San Juan Mountains, Colorado, and the harsh Tibetan Plateau pampered the other one. Then I remembered someone had promised me to take me out to experience nature first hand.

“But I don’t do camping!” I said back then. “If I need any emergency midnite ice cream and extra pillow, there would be no room service button to press!” I defended myself violently.

Gayle, my mate of honor, whom I later found out that he really swept the forest floor like a gale, replied “First we do trekking. But to motivate you, there shall be something nice at the end of the road. Let’s unveil short waterfalls trips first.”

“But we’re still not going camping right?”

“No, we are going to just enjoy the view and return the same day.”

“Phewww”


When we finally reached the area, I was somehow shocked by how pristine the landscape was. The entire small mountain was blocked for strictly eco-tourism. It was called the Cigampea at Gunung Bunder (Mt. Round) just half an hour higher than the city of Bogor, West Java. Inside the protected park you will find six or even seven different waterfalls, camping grounds, pine forest in sulfuric meadows (aptly named Kawah Ratu, the Queen’s Crater).


With only about 500 m hike, it wasn’t difficult to find Curug Ngumpet (Hiding Waterfall). We needed to go around a wet cliff before hearing the water splashing on the ground beneath it. This ticked the Indiana Jones spirit inside me, that I thought I never had (true that I believed only the spirits of Halston and Gianni who would guide me through my darkest nights).

It was somehow secluded, a perfectly romantic spot, with sunbeams falling on the perfect clearances. Too bad some group of photographers and love birds were there earlier than us. Ahh, the fresh air (and the wild snake which just crossed our path). Yikes!



The second waterfall was the mother load, Curug Cigampea. It was almost 300 m tall. Sidetracking to a smaller waterfall on its right side, it was as if you’d get two waterfalls at the price of one.

Secretly, I thanked the local government for putting on paved walkways to ease our 1 km descend to reach the falls. It was tiring but then again it was safe as they had railings and flat stairs to welcome your journey. But yes it was awe-inspiring when finally you reached the bottom of that hill. One would feel nothing but so small against this natural setting.



Curug Cigampea was crowded as it was the end of the high-school final tests season. Ahh, another fresh vantage point. I had never realized that even the locals nowadays already ditched GT Mans and Riders (famous local underwear brands) for the trendier distro produced boxers (but briefs are sexier when wet!!).

Then Dr. Doolittle seemed to possess my Gayle for a while, as he was able to feed the monkeys by hand. I will never forget how he would gaze at the dominant male as if calling it to get closer. And when it arrived, they were as if talking in another language. The dominant male looked tamed before him. But still, just as a precaution, I never had the intention to get anywhere near them on that stream.



I sat there for a while. Just replenishing the good energy that I needed to refuel for my sanity. The mist was indeed mysterious. But Cigampea seemed to welcome us in its cradle. It wasn’t scary but Cigampea wanted to be handled with respect.

Warning Sign on the spot:
1. Please leave before 4.00 PM
2. Leave immediately when it started to rain
3. The same goes for landing mist
4. Keep clean and take care of your garbage



After a while, Vanindya was tired as hell. We didn’t want to imagine the ascend to the area where we came from. Huffing and puffing like some fish out of the water, we finally made it back. Only to be treated by the most glorious welcome: A group of bare-chested army cadets running in unison down the mountain road.

“Mama, mama can you see…”





Can’t wait for another trip,





Prof. Utonium

Copyrights: Opening Image. Vanindya Vidiastuty © 2008
Other Images. Prof. Utonium © 2008

Nature Photography inspired by Techno80 © 2008