Feeling cornered for some overdue times, finally Lord Abimanyu asked the most important question that he had withheld since he was a teenager: “I am sick and tired of being so different. I was never known as the sensible and the responsible one. Nothing that I did in my past would seem to please you and the duke. Everything just seemed to be wrong. I felt like I don’t even belong to this family. In which I had a hunch from a long time ago, that I am not even your son!” The Duchess of Ngadiredjo then slumped in her chair. She tightened her grip on Madam Utami’s hand, her world had seemingly collapsed above her, she felt nauseous and weak. Tears started to run down Madam Utami’s cheeks, the beloved mak inang, that helped the duchess raise Lord Abimanyu to princedom and adulthood.
Waves of emotions lingered in the House of Ngadiredjo that evening. In her despair, the duchess gathered her entire family in the courtyard. Their heirs Lord Abimanyu and Lady Sri Kartika waited uneasily while the Duke finally entered the courtyard with the grand matriarch, Lady Paramita of Ngadirejo in his arm. Gracefully the grand lady then opened the internal forum: “We are gathered here today as a family unit to talk about any feelings or questions that we might have in mind, before celebrating the big day of Lord Abimanyu’s wedding to Lady Ratnagahari of Jenggala several months from now. So please do the forum is yours” she said in a stern yet loving manner.
Anxious with confusion Lady Sri Kartika, asked in a rush: “With the utmost respect for the duke and the duchess, let me ask why does the duchess looked very sad or even bereft today? Anything wrong? Are you fine dear mother?” Her heart pounded as she let the questions slipped through her mouth.
The Duchess then answered her inquiry: “Your brother, Lord Abimanyu today, asked me whether or not he was our authentic apparent heir?”
Anguished, Lady Sri Kartika then turned to her beloved brother, “But dear brother why did you ask such reckless question?”
“Sister, since I was a child I had been having visions or premonitions of my real heritage. Even though I am grateful that I was raised in this house, groomed as a prince, trained as knights and warriors, I still felt like I do not have the rights to receive such honors dear sister.”
”But if you have such a question to ask, don’t you think it would be wise to wait until a more perfect moment shall arrive? We are very hectic right now in preparing for your own wedding. And right now the Duke is also worrisome about the need to raise the tax on the citizens to built a better Ngadiredjo county”
“I know it was stupid, harsh and unnecessary. I just felt so cornered as nothing I did seemed to be appreciated, nothing I choose seemed to be the correct one. Even the woman I loved dearly, Lady Ratnagahari seemed to be lacking a lot of things in dear mother’s eyes. I felt chocked and I am truly sorry that I did what I did to let the steam off”
Inside, Lady Sri Kartika started to ponder the same question that was uttered earlier by her brother. No matter how beautiful she is today, still she does not appear to have any similarities with the Duke and the Duchess. Her features were different, her interests were different. Yet by training she has the same grace, wisdom, and commanding presence as her parents would.
And then the Duke replied, “Even when you feel like you are less of a person to belong here in the House of Ngadiredjo, without you realizing, you actually do have the right and title as our true heir. When we understood that it would be difficult for us to produce any heir, the Mighty One above, along with the ancestors, had delivered you for us to take care and to raise with love, compassion and dignity. The bond that we have as parents and offspring may never be broken by anything, as we had laid one powerful base for this household, it is love…” he started.
“No acknowledgements and entitlements would do anything good in the world as long as you haven’t truly understood the reason and the duties that you have to perform. For the family honor, for the community goodness, for the spread of the religion and for the greatness of the kingdom.”
“I am truly sorry father” Lord Abimanyu offered no more defense.
“I am the one who actually felt sorry son. As the head of the family I felt that I have failed to raise a knight”
“No father, you have done more than enough. It was I who felt so utterly useless for you to employ”
“One would feel meaningless when one feels like he doesn’t give any meaning for others. Take care of others, be useful, then you will know your purpose in this world”
And then Lord Abimanyu asked for forgiveness from the Duke and the Duchess. And then they hugged and cried.
Later that night, still distraught, very unladylike, Lady Sri Kartika then went up the roof of her chalet and lit up a clove cigarette. Suddenly she saw something moving through the thick dark air. She readied her self-guard, preparing for any attack that would bestow upon her. A strong jasmine perfume then lingered in the air.
“Dear Kartika, this is me, no need to worry” said Lady Wulandari as she stepped on the roof after seemingly flying elegantly through the bamboo forest.
“Auntie! I missed you, my heart is broken right now…”
“Now, now, calm my child. Auntie is here. You both are grown up now. You may ask me any question that you have in mind… I too have loved both of you since the day you were born. And I too knew everything…”
Lady Sri Kartika felt a small choke in her throat.
This was the confirmation that she had been preparing to hear for her entire life.
Everything is going to be all right Tika,
Prof. Utonium
Copyright: Opening Image. Corbis © 2008
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